Reading . . .a lot

 One of the blessings of the pandemic is that I have made time to read a lot more than I usually do. I set a goal early in the year (before COVID hit) to read 35 books this year. That goal was hit and surpassed before even half way through the year. In April or May I changed my goal to 100. I have read old favorites (books I read every year or two), old classics that I haven't read in a long time, classics I have been wanting to read for a long time but never made time to do it. I have listened to books (by myself and with Brian) and have read lots on my tablet. Many of the books have been fun, light reading, but many have made me think, have giving me glimpses of people and perspectives. A lot, even some of the fiction I have read, point me to light and to God.

I love on my device that I can mark things that jump out at me. When I listen to books it is harder to capture these bits of wisdom that I want to remember. i try to jot them down. Here are some quotations that I wrote on a random scrap of paper. 

From Helen Keller, The Story of My Life

"We coul never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world."

This next quotation is so good, but I bolded the part I liked best.

“I want to say to those who are trying to learn to speak and those who are teaching them: Be of good cheer. Do not think of to-day’s failures, but of the success that may come to-morrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere, and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles — a delight in climbing rugged paths, which you would perhaps never know if you did not sometime slip backward — if the road was always smooth and pleasant. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. Sometime, somewhere, somehow we shall find that which we seek. We shall speak, yes, and sing, too, as God intended we should speak and sing.”

There are other great Helen Keller quotations here. 

From Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

"All my heart is yours."

"I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine."

Christy, by Catherine Marshall

“The only time I ever find my dealings with God less than clear-cut is when I’m not being honest with Him. The fuzziness is always on my side, not His.”

I hope I have this one close to accurate.

Miss Alice talking to Christy says that her father's goal was to "see that thee has a happy childhood" and then Miss Alice continues, "I couldn't have an earthly father who would provide joy all my days and hen be able to conceive of God as a stern judge wanting to take all of my fun from me." Then she admonishes Christy. "Show folks a God who wants to give them joy.." And she promises, "I, God and you can have the victory every time."

On my scrap of paper I also had the note "Never grew weary . . . " I don't know what book motivated that note, but I know that this phrase meant a lot to me throughout 2020. I think it might have been a reference to this section of Jane Eyre. I remember being so struck by the love that grew from the service she lovingly gave her husband. 

“Mr. Rochester continued to be blind the first two years of our union; perhaps it was that circumstance that drew us so very near -- that knit us so very close; for I was then his vision, as I am still his right hand. Literally, I was (what he often called me) the apple of his eye. He saw nature -- he saw books through me; and never did I weary of gazing for his behalf, and of putting into words the effect of the field, tree, town, river, cloud, sunbeam -- of the landscape before us; of the weather around us -- and impressing by sound on his ear what light could no longer stamp on his eye. Never did I weary of reading to him; never did I weary conducting him where he wished to go; of doing for him what he wished to be done. And there was a pleasure in my services, most full, most exquisite, even though sad -- because he claimed these services without painful shame or damping humiliation. He loved me so truly, that he knew no reluctance in profiting by my attendance; he felt I loved him so fondly, that to yield that attendance was to indulge my sweetest wishes.”

You are Enough

Today is Mothers' Day. There was a video posted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I loved.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/blog/you-are-enough?lang=eng

It reminds women everywhere of their strength, beauty, bravery, resilience and especially their divine nature as children of God. It shows women dealing with challenging and joyful circumstances. It is simple and powerful. It ends by reminding women that "You are enough."

Today I also saw a post written by someone who did not like this statement. This woman countered that we can never be enough for our children, that only Christ can be enough for any of us. While I agree with a lot of what she said, I think that it is important to note that her thoughts and the intent of the video are not incongruous.

It is very true that none of us are enough without the Savior. We cannot be successful in this life without the cleansing, enabling and redeeming power of the Atonement.

But this does not mean that we cannot be "enough" in our calling as mother. Our role as mother was never one to be done alone. We are taught over and over again (President Gordon B. Hinckley's talk at the General Women's meeting in September 2000 comes to mind right away) that as mothers we are partners with our Heavenly Father. What I feel like the video was reminding us it that, despite our weaknesses, imperfections, personal struggles, and situations, we are capable of raising our children. We are enough as we do our very best to teach our children about faith in Jesus Christ, how to repent, the importance of making and keeping covenants, what we can do to qualify for the Holy Ghost, the importance of obedience, and how we can serve God with joy. The Lord truly does not ask more of us than we can give, so what we are able to give is enough.

There have been times when I have felt inadequate in certain mothering situations, times that I felt lacking because I couldn't give my kids certain experiences, times that I felt like I was holding my kids back because I couldn't drive them somewhere. I know that the Adversary works very hard to make mothers feel like they aren't doing things right. He wants us to feel discouragement and despair. But like I said, these feelings do not come from our Heavenly Father. At my hardest times the Lord has reminded me that He sent these kids to me because of my unique gifts, experiences, and talents. These reminders are just what I needed to gain strength at challenging times.. 

I know that alone we are not "enough", but we are each enough as we partner with God to raise His children that He has sent to us.

Come, Follow Me

I love the new church schedule and the new curriculum that we are studying. I have felt the spirit as I have studied on my own, taught my primary class and discussed the scriptures with my family. I have felt the Spirit help me make connections between what we are studying in the New Testament to things I am reading int eh Book of Mormon, conferences addresses I am studying, and experiences I am having. 

Last week I read in Luke 5 the account of a leper who came to Jesus, wanting to be healed. I found his words interesting, "Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean." I was struck by two pieces of his simple statement. I felt that when he said, "Thou canst make me clean," he was recognizing the Savior's power, that in the blink of an eye the Savior could take away his infirmity. But I found the first part of his statement even more enlightening: "If thou wilt." To me the man used these three words to express his faith in the Savior's will and timing. Not all of our prayers of faith are answered with an immediate, "yes!", but this is not because God doesn't have the ability or because he doesn't love us.

A few years ago I read through the gospels in a short period of time. I loved reading the many accounts of Christ's miracles. I was struck by the differences between them. SOme people were healed or cleansed immediately. Some were given invitations by the Savior, and as they accepted and acted upon these invitations they were healed. I love the reminder that the Lord knows what each of us needs to exercise faith in Him and to grow, so that we can become like Him someday.

Serving Together

Last Friday, the girls had a scrimmage tournament to help them get ready for nationals next month. The rest of us went to help with the different officiating things that need to be done to make a Goalball game happen. I loved watching my three guys working together at the table, timing, score keeping and watching for ten second penalties.

But on Saturday I saw something even more wonderful. We went to the temple as a family to do baptisms. Not long after we got to the font area they asked if there was a priest who would be willing to act as a witness. Nathan said he would and took his place. Then, just a few minutes later they needed another witness and Brian took the chair next to Nathan. I loved watching these two men in white, serving as priesthood holders in the temple (and I loved knowing that Mike will be there soon too). It was also amazing to watch Nathan baptize his siblings, then see Brian baptize him. It is a blessing to be able to serve in the temple.

Trek 2018

This was fun to put together. It is about 20 minutes long and uses pictures and video from our experience on trek. All of the songs are songs that we learned for trek, or songs that were performed while we were there.  This is mostly for me and for our family, but I want to share it too.

Cougar Fight Song in Emojis

We saw this and thought it was hysterical! 43 days until football season starts!

🙌💯🐾🤮🏋️‍♂️🆚/🤜🤛🌞🌛🌧🌨/🐶💪 👍/⚪️🔵/🎶🌱🐾⬆️✌️🐑🙆‍♂️/🙌🗣🐾👉🚪🏃‍♂️🏆👑/🙌🗣🥂💍👉🚪/ 📄🏁📖/🔛🚦❌🆚🎓👦👧/🎼🙌🙏💪/⬆️🌈🔵🥂🐾🤙/🥩🥩🥩🥩🥩/🥩🥩🥩🥩🥩/🥩🥩🥩🥩🥩/🚦 🐾❗️#WorldEmojiDay

— Cougarblue.com (@BYUCougarblue) July 17, 2018

My favorite people on trek

I loved trekking with this little family of mine. I had tiemes when I trekked with the company the boys were in and times when I was with the company that Liz was in. I loved catching glimpses of them working hard, having fun and interacting with others. 

Brian and I were in different companies most of the time. We chose this so that We could each have times with each of the kids. At the end of the first day he caught up to us just as we were about to head into camp.

We sure missed Megan, but knew she was safe and being spoiled by Grandma. We loved having this time on trek.