Reading . . .a lot

 One of the blessings of the pandemic is that I have made time to read a lot more than I usually do. I set a goal early in the year (before COVID hit) to read 35 books this year. That goal was hit and surpassed before even half way through the year. In April or May I changed my goal to 100. I have read old favorites (books I read every year or two), old classics that I haven't read in a long time, classics I have been wanting to read for a long time but never made time to do it. I have listened to books (by myself and with Brian) and have read lots on my tablet. Many of the books have been fun, light reading, but many have made me think, have giving me glimpses of people and perspectives. A lot, even some of the fiction I have read, point me to light and to God.

I love on my device that I can mark things that jump out at me. When I listen to books it is harder to capture these bits of wisdom that I want to remember. i try to jot them down. Here are some quotations that I wrote on a random scrap of paper. 

From Helen Keller, The Story of My Life

"We coul never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world."

This next quotation is so good, but I bolded the part I liked best.

“I want to say to those who are trying to learn to speak and those who are teaching them: Be of good cheer. Do not think of to-day’s failures, but of the success that may come to-morrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere, and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles — a delight in climbing rugged paths, which you would perhaps never know if you did not sometime slip backward — if the road was always smooth and pleasant. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. Sometime, somewhere, somehow we shall find that which we seek. We shall speak, yes, and sing, too, as God intended we should speak and sing.”

There are other great Helen Keller quotations here. 

From Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

"All my heart is yours."

"I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine."

Christy, by Catherine Marshall

“The only time I ever find my dealings with God less than clear-cut is when I’m not being honest with Him. The fuzziness is always on my side, not His.”

I hope I have this one close to accurate.

Miss Alice talking to Christy says that her father's goal was to "see that thee has a happy childhood" and then Miss Alice continues, "I couldn't have an earthly father who would provide joy all my days and hen be able to conceive of God as a stern judge wanting to take all of my fun from me." Then she admonishes Christy. "Show folks a God who wants to give them joy.." And she promises, "I, God and you can have the victory every time."

On my scrap of paper I also had the note "Never grew weary . . . " I don't know what book motivated that note, but I know that this phrase meant a lot to me throughout 2020. I think it might have been a reference to this section of Jane Eyre. I remember being so struck by the love that grew from the service she lovingly gave her husband. 

“Mr. Rochester continued to be blind the first two years of our union; perhaps it was that circumstance that drew us so very near -- that knit us so very close; for I was then his vision, as I am still his right hand. Literally, I was (what he often called me) the apple of his eye. He saw nature -- he saw books through me; and never did I weary of gazing for his behalf, and of putting into words the effect of the field, tree, town, river, cloud, sunbeam -- of the landscape before us; of the weather around us -- and impressing by sound on his ear what light could no longer stamp on his eye. Never did I weary of reading to him; never did I weary conducting him where he wished to go; of doing for him what he wished to be done. And there was a pleasure in my services, most full, most exquisite, even though sad -- because he claimed these services without painful shame or damping humiliation. He loved me so truly, that he knew no reluctance in profiting by my attendance; he felt I loved him so fondly, that to yield that attendance was to indulge my sweetest wishes.”

You are Enough

Today is Mothers' Day. There was a video posted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I loved.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/blog/you-are-enough?lang=eng

It reminds women everywhere of their strength, beauty, bravery, resilience and especially their divine nature as children of God. It shows women dealing with challenging and joyful circumstances. It is simple and powerful. It ends by reminding women that "You are enough."

Today I also saw a post written by someone who did not like this statement. This woman countered that we can never be enough for our children, that only Christ can be enough for any of us. While I agree with a lot of what she said, I think that it is important to note that her thoughts and the intent of the video are not incongruous.

It is very true that none of us are enough without the Savior. We cannot be successful in this life without the cleansing, enabling and redeeming power of the Atonement.

But this does not mean that we cannot be "enough" in our calling as mother. Our role as mother was never one to be done alone. We are taught over and over again (President Gordon B. Hinckley's talk at the General Women's meeting in September 2000 comes to mind right away) that as mothers we are partners with our Heavenly Father. What I feel like the video was reminding us it that, despite our weaknesses, imperfections, personal struggles, and situations, we are capable of raising our children. We are enough as we do our very best to teach our children about faith in Jesus Christ, how to repent, the importance of making and keeping covenants, what we can do to qualify for the Holy Ghost, the importance of obedience, and how we can serve God with joy. The Lord truly does not ask more of us than we can give, so what we are able to give is enough.

There have been times when I have felt inadequate in certain mothering situations, times that I felt lacking because I couldn't give my kids certain experiences, times that I felt like I was holding my kids back because I couldn't drive them somewhere. I know that the Adversary works very hard to make mothers feel like they aren't doing things right. He wants us to feel discouragement and despair. But like I said, these feelings do not come from our Heavenly Father. At my hardest times the Lord has reminded me that He sent these kids to me because of my unique gifts, experiences, and talents. These reminders are just what I needed to gain strength at challenging times.. 

I know that alone we are not "enough", but we are each enough as we partner with God to raise His children that He has sent to us.

Come, Follow Me

I love the new church schedule and the new curriculum that we are studying. I have felt the spirit as I have studied on my own, taught my primary class and discussed the scriptures with my family. I have felt the Spirit help me make connections between what we are studying in the New Testament to things I am reading int eh Book of Mormon, conferences addresses I am studying, and experiences I am having. 

Last week I read in Luke 5 the account of a leper who came to Jesus, wanting to be healed. I found his words interesting, "Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean." I was struck by two pieces of his simple statement. I felt that when he said, "Thou canst make me clean," he was recognizing the Savior's power, that in the blink of an eye the Savior could take away his infirmity. But I found the first part of his statement even more enlightening: "If thou wilt." To me the man used these three words to express his faith in the Savior's will and timing. Not all of our prayers of faith are answered with an immediate, "yes!", but this is not because God doesn't have the ability or because he doesn't love us.

A few years ago I read through the gospels in a short period of time. I loved reading the many accounts of Christ's miracles. I was struck by the differences between them. SOme people were healed or cleansed immediately. Some were given invitations by the Savior, and as they accepted and acted upon these invitations they were healed. I love the reminder that the Lord knows what each of us needs to exercise faith in Him and to grow, so that we can become like Him someday.

Serving Together

Last Friday, the girls had a scrimmage tournament to help them get ready for nationals next month. The rest of us went to help with the different officiating things that need to be done to make a Goalball game happen. I loved watching my three guys working together at the table, timing, score keeping and watching for ten second penalties.

But on Saturday I saw something even more wonderful. We went to the temple as a family to do baptisms. Not long after we got to the font area they asked if there was a priest who would be willing to act as a witness. Nathan said he would and took his place. Then, just a few minutes later they needed another witness and Brian took the chair next to Nathan. I loved watching these two men in white, serving as priesthood holders in the temple (and I loved knowing that Mike will be there soon too). It was also amazing to watch Nathan baptize his siblings, then see Brian baptize him. It is a blessing to be able to serve in the temple.

Trek 2018

This was fun to put together. It is about 20 minutes long and uses pictures and video from our experience on trek. All of the songs are songs that we learned for trek, or songs that were performed while we were there.  This is mostly for me and for our family, but I want to share it too.

Cougar Fight Song in Emojis

We saw this and thought it was hysterical! 43 days until football season starts!

🙌💯🐾🤮🏋️‍♂️🆚/🤜🤛🌞🌛🌧🌨/🐶💪 👍/⚪️🔵/🎶🌱🐾⬆️✌️🐑🙆‍♂️/🙌🗣🐾👉🚪🏃‍♂️🏆👑/🙌🗣🥂💍👉🚪/ 📄🏁📖/🔛🚦❌🆚🎓👦👧/🎼🙌🙏💪/⬆️🌈🔵🥂🐾🤙/🥩🥩🥩🥩🥩/🥩🥩🥩🥩🥩/🥩🥩🥩🥩🥩/🚦 🐾❗️#WorldEmojiDay

— Cougarblue.com (@BYUCougarblue) July 17, 2018

My favorite people on trek

I loved trekking with this little family of mine. I had tiemes when I trekked with the company the boys were in and times when I was with the company that Liz was in. I loved catching glimpses of them working hard, having fun and interacting with others. 

Brian and I were in different companies most of the time. We chose this so that We could each have times with each of the kids. At the end of the first day he caught up to us just as we were about to head into camp.

We sure missed Megan, but knew she was safe and being spoiled by Grandma. We loved having this time on trek.

Lessons from another Women's Pull

Five years ago we participated in a pioneer trek and a women's pull. The impact of that day and the many lessons I learned are still so very fresh. It only takes seeing a picture or thinking about that day and so many emotions come flooding back.

This last week Brian and I, along with three of our kids, participated in another trek, this time at Martin's Cove. Remembering the Women's pull from five years ago I have been praying for strength (physical, emotional and spiritual) to take on a similar task again. My assignment on this trek was to take pictures and document this time.I didn't do a whole lot of pushing/pulling, but all women were invited to participate in the Women's pull. I handed my cameras over to Brian and took my place pulling in the front handcart.

Our incredible and inspired stake Young Women's president (Sister Lott) gave an amazing message to the young women. She talked about the difference between can and will. Sometimes we might not think we can do something, but if we say, "I will", with the Lord's help we can accomplish anything. We each received a bracelet with a charm and two knots. These knots represented "Doubt not" and "Fear Not". I knew the pull would be hard, but I was ready to give it my all with some incredible women alongside me.

The handcarts were stopped at the base of the hill. Sister Lott started with the back cart and went from group to group inviting one person to ride in the cart. I had seen this happen with the first company and had even put my arms around a "Ma" who didn't want to be that burden in her cart. I had told her it will be OK. When Sister Lott got to our cart she looked right in my eyes and all she said was "Jen?" I asked, "really?" and she nodded. Tears started to flow. I was willing to do what I was asked, but it was hard.

As I sat in the cart two sisters pulled and one sister pushed. I could easily see how difficult it was for them. I could hear the labored breathing of the sister behind me. We slowed as rocks covered the sandy hill. Men, young and older, lined the trail, with hats over their hearts. I didn't want to look in their faces. I wanted to be pulling, but instead I found myself praying for those who were pushing and pulling. I had no doubt we would make it, but I felt bad for not being part of this strong effort to get to the top of the hill.

I thought over and over again that is is so hard to watch people struggle, and to not be able to help, especially when you see that some of their struggle comes from serving you.

We reached the top of the hill and were able to watch the other carts reach the top too. I pulled out a little camera from my backpack and captured some poignant moments, all while watching for Liz and her group to arrive. I saw Liz. She had also been chosen to ride in a cart. And in the instant I saw her the Lord taught me my lesson of this Pull. Sometimes Liz (and me, and each of us) feel like we have to do things on our own. But in this moment I felt like God was telling me that there are countless people around who love us and are wanting and willing to help. I watched those pulling Liz's cart and was reminded that she (and me and each of us) are never alone. We have family, we have friends, and more importantly we have the Lord. And we should never feel like it is weakness to ask for help.

This experience was not as physically demanding for me as it was for those pulling, but I will venture to say it was just as difficult, but in a different way.

In the hours and days that have followed, I have pondered this experience and talked about it and the Lord has continued to teach me. Here are a couple of lessons that have sunk in during the last couple of days.

- Sometimes we are asked to push and pull, and sometimes we are the ones that are asked to climb into the handcart. We are given different responsibilities and assignments at different times in our lives. Sometimes we are called to serve in "big" or "visible" callings. Sometimes we are asked to serve in ways that may seem to go almost unnoticed. Sometimes we are called to go to exciting and exotic places to serve, and sometimes the Lord needs us to stay where we are and serve there.  Are we willing to do what is asked of us, no matter what it is? I wanted to be part of the force that got up that hill. I knew I would be strong enough with God's help, but the Lord needed me in the handcart.

- The Lord gives us the experiences that we need, not necessarily the experiences we want. Our stake president used a phrase in a conversation that I had with him, something like "customized curriculum." The Lord knows exactly what each of us needs to learn and gives the the experiences, trials and opportunities to learn those lessons. Five years ago I had that grueling physical experience that taught me so much. This time the Lord taught me different lessons in a different way, in the way I needed.

- And today during the sacrament I was taught another lesson. It is something I have thought about, by my experience with the Women's Pull on Friday gave me a whole knew perspective. We have been called to minister, to care for one another in a bold, new, holier way. I think often of sisters in my stewardship and others in my ward and neighborhood. Many face significant challenges and I often feel completely inadequate to lift their burdens. Like sitting in the cart, I feel like I am watching and listening to them struggle without being able to push alongside them. But during the sacrament today I was reminded that it is OK that I cannot take away their burdens, and often I cannot "fix" things to make their burdens lighter. Rather, I can find small ways to strengthen them so that they feel more able to carry the burdens that they have been given. Remembering them in my prayers, sending a thought, talk or scripture that has brought me strength, offering encouragement and letting them know they are not forgotten. These are all small things, but can significantly strengthen those we are called to minister to. I can encourage, lift and pray so that those I love are strengthened and able to keep pushing their carts.

Liz told me later that when her cart started up the hill she felt like she was either going to cry our jump out and help push. Instead she sat in her cart and gave pretty constant stream of encouragement and reminders. And I couldn't help but think of how she is so naturally good at giving kindness and support to those around her. She doesn't worry about not being able to fix things, she just does what she knows how to do. The picture below is from the night before the Women's Pull. She put her arms around a friend to help when she was sad.

Love One Another

I have been thinking a lot about God's commandment for us to love one another and about the necessity of having charity and expressing that in our interactions with others. We often talk about how to become like God we need to learn to love like He loves. But this week I have thought specifically about how our having pure love, charity, really blesses those around us, far beyond acts of service that are motivated by that love. This quotation from Anne of Green Gables motivated much of these thoughts.

Marilla is talking to Anne about how she has noticed that Anne did not say her prayers the night before. Anne tells Marilla that she has chosen to not pray because she was taught that God made her hair red on purpose.

Marilla recognizes that Anne is "a girl who knew and cared nothing about God's love, since she had never had it translated to her through the medium of human love."

Later in the book Anne expresses that she feels gratitude for the beauties around her, she shows love for the people in her life and she also expresses how easy it us for her to pray. It doesn't really state it this way, but I think Anne has learned what love feels like and she so she is able to easily express it to others, and to God.

So back to the purpose of charity. I think that one reason that we are commanded to love others is that as others feel our love, they better understand God's love, because our love truly is rooted in God's love for his children. As we show pure love for others, we can help them come to know Jesus Christ and HEavenly Father. 

I Did It

Yesterday was Fathers' Day. In the week leading up to this Sunday, Brian and I talked a lot about the importance of fathers, but also, on this Sabbath Day, remembering our Heavenly Father and his abundant gifts. He invited ward members to find ways to honor our Heavenly Father on this special day.

At church, in prayers, I heard more than ever before a gratitude that we know that God is our father and that we are His spirit children. It was said several times throughout the day, and I was grateful for this reminder.

After the sacrament the Primary children sang a couple of Fathers' Day songs. They are simple, common songs, but it was wonderful to hear how well the primary children sang them. As they finished and the first children started to return to their seats, a little Sunbeam standing right in front said, "Daddy, I did it!" I don't know if she was nervous to go sing in front of the congregation or not, but it was easy to see that she felt the joy of this success, and it was so cute to see her eagerness to share this success with her daddy.

I thought about the Savior, who at the very en of his life pronounced, "It is finished." (John 19:30), confirming that He had completed all that the Father had asked Him to do.  I thought about how really a similar experience is something I long for. I look forward to the time I return to my Father in Heaven. I hope to bow before him and to be able to say, "I did it. I did my very best. I fulfilled the work you needed me to do." What a joyful experience that will be!

And then in Relief Society I read this quotation from the talk we were discussing with new eyes. 

“When you … see our Father,” Brigham Young described, “you will see a being with whom you have long been acquainted, and he will receive you into his arms, and you will be ready to fall into his embrace and kiss him.” (Am I a child of God? by Elder Brian K. Taylor)

Thankful for service

This morning we spent about an hour helping a family move into they new home in our ward. We went up and down a lot of stairs, but I was truly grateful for the chance to help.

I love that we can take our whole crew and that they willingly pitch in. Sure, they would probably rather be somewhere else, but they served happily and worked hard the entire time. I am grateful for this little army of mine nd the good they can do.

I also was reminded that there is always something we can do. Megan (or me for that matter) can't necessarily carry the biggest, heaviest stuff, but that doesn't mean our time there wasn't helpful. There was stuff for us to lift and ways for us to help.

The family was very, very grateful for our help. They didn't seem to know what they could possibly do to thank us sufficiently, but truly I was most grateful for the opportunity to serve with my family.

something funny

We enjoyed watching the 2018 Winter Olympics. We saw many great gold medal performance, including the USA men's curling team, which was so fun to watch.

We also watched a lot of figure skating. Brian and I joked and joked about taking up pairs skating in time for the next winter games. He assured me that if I am able to learn the spin where the girls pull their leg up behind their head then we could train for Beijing in 4 years.

Later we were watching replays of the figure skating action and I told Brian I was making progress so we should get ready for 2022. He said, "I think that ship sailed a long time again."

Nathan replied immediately. "That ship was never built." We laughed and laughed.

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

This passage is not one that I am familiar with, but loved reading it today. It is one of the scriptures listed under the hymn "Where Can I Turn for Peace?"

Hebrews 4

14 Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.

15 For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. 

I particularly loved the third verse. It is a direction to approach the Lord "boldly", to ask for his help, to lean upon the power of His atoning sacrifice. But the first two verses explain WHY we can approach Him boldly, with confidence. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He is perfect and sinless. But he has also been "touched with the feeling of our infirmities." He knows our pains and our sorrows because He has felt them. He can give us strength to resist temptation because He resisted every temptation. He understands it all.

And because of this we can go boldly to the throne of grace. We can obtain mercy and grace in every time of need. Because of this we can have peace, even in a world of turmoil.

Reminded

When my mom and Dad were here for Christmas my mom reminded me of something and I want to write it here so I remember it.

In November 2005 we went to Maine for Thanksgiving. Part of our visit included taking Liz to see the Nutcracker. We know the people who run Maine State Ballet and we were able to take Liz to meet the SUgar Plum fairy and the Nutcracker prince.

IN preparation for this nigh we had talked with Liz lots about going to see the Nutcracker, and we had played some of the well known music for her, so it would be a little familiar.

That night we got dressed up. Grandma put cute curly ribbon in Liz's hair and we bought a fun ornament. Liz sat on Grandma's lap as the ballet began.

After several songs and dances the traditional "March" music began to play. Liz turned to grandma and said, "Grandma! It's the Nutcracker!" IT was at that moment that it all clicked!

Merry Christmas!

Dearest Friends and Family,

This year has been a big one at the Chantry house. The kids are growing up so fast and doing so many great things. It has been a year of challenges, but also of many unbelievable experiences. Through it all we have felt the guiding and strengthening hand of the Lord, and we feel so abundantly blessed. Here are a few highlights:

Liz (16) - Now a junior in high school, she attended her first prom in April, she has excelled in music receiving an award for a band score that she wrote, and she composed and wrote lyrics for our stake pioneer trek which will take place next summer. Perhaps the most memorable was representing the USA in Budapest at the World Youth Goalball Championships. She met (and played against) teenagers from all over the world! She and the Utah team also took silver at Goalball Nationals in November.

Nathan (15) - Now a sophomore in high school, he has his drivers' permit (we couldn't be more excited for a second driver!), continuing with violin and started running cross country. He ran on the JV team this fall and worked so hard that he was even able to run at a regional race in Arizona. He ran his best race ever. He is taking challenging classes and doing great in school.

Michael (13) - An eighth grader, he is part of the junior high jazz band. He loves playing the trumpet and has come a long way this year. He was invited to create a youth ensemble to play several carols at our Stake Music of Christmas (for church). He invited ten youth who played various instruments, they practiced weekly for over a month and they sounded great when they played on Sunday. He does great in school and still loves anything he can build.

Megan (11) - sixth grade, our last year at the elementary school. She has grown so much (both in height and ability), she is motivated and responsible and a great problem solver. For the second year in a row, she was the first student to finish all 20 books for Battle of the Books. She loves to read and is looking forward to the battles in the spring. She is so excited for opportunities that will come when she turns 12 in March.

Jen was able to go to Budapest to watch Liz play. She also had the chance to do a lot of sightseeing. It was amazing to watch Liz have such great experiences, and to have some new experiences of her own. She is also doing lots of math tutoring this fall and loves it. Brian continues his work at BYU and takes such good care of this crazy family of ours. He teaches by word and example, and helps each of us to be better each day. We welcomed Brian's parents home from their 23 month mission in the Philippines, and we spent some time in the east with Jen's family. We are grateful for the chance to see family throughout the year.

We have felt the Light of Christ fill our lives this year, and hope that you, too, can feel the peace and joy that comes because of our Savior Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas!

Brian, Jennifer, Liz, Nathan, Mike and Megan Chantry

Thankful . . . from A to Z

My mother-in-law sent us home after Thanksgiving celebrations with a "I am thankful for" paper. There were 26 spaces, each with a letter of the alphabet next to it. I took some time after kids were in bed to fill it out. They took some time Saturday to fill out theirs and we had fun comparing answers. It was a fun way to think about our blessings.

A - Ancestors - Parents, Grandparents and generations who have come before to make the many blessings of my life possible.

B - Brian - What would I do without such a wonderful husband!

C - Children - I sure love my kids and I am grateful for the opportunity of motherhood.

D - Date Night

E - Education and Employment - WE are so blessed!

F - Family and Friends - so many people bless our lives. They lift and help and strengthen.

G - Games - Such a fun way to spend time with family.

H - Home - Protection for the storms, both of weather and of challenges of the world.

I - Ice Cream - Yum!

J - Jesus Christ - My Savior and Redeemer

K - Kisses (and other ways to express love)

L - Lakes and Oceans - Being around water is so peaceful

M - Math (and Music)

N - Night - a time to rest and rejuvenate

O - Opportunities for Growth - whether they come through challenges or exciting experiences, we have had many opportunities to try new things and improve this year.

P - Priesthood and Prophets - The power and authority of God has been restored to the earth

Q - Quiet time to ponder

R - Reading - Learning from great literature

S - Scriptures - Feast Upon the Word of God

T - Temples - Families CAN be together forever

U - Umbrellas - Protection from rain, especially when I am dependent upon public transportation and a storm comes

V - Vacuum and other labor saving devices - they sure make life easier

W - Water - Clean and Plentiful!

X - X-rays, MRIs and the many miracles of modern medicine

Y - Yellow and other colors that make me happy

Z - Zippered sweaters and coats that keep me warm!

I am so very grateful for abundant blessings that have been poured upon me! Life is good!

IBSA Goalball World Youth Championships

The IBSA Goalball World Youth Championships started with the opening ceremonies. It was so neat to see all of these athletes and coaches together. This is the biggest tournament we have ever been too, and it was amazing to see the 11 countries that were being represented. It was amazing to hear the athletes' oath and to hear the games declared open. 

Liz was in this big group. You can see her in the bottom right corner of this photo.

And she is about half way down this photo, about 1/3 of the way in from the right.

Here she and her team are leaving, and I snagged a picture of her before we left for the hotel. They got to enjoy dinner with all of the athletes.

There were a few nerves for the first game against Spain, but it was nice to be there early enough to laugh a little and take a few pictures. 

It was truly amazing to watch Liz and her team play, and it really took a while to sink in that this was a world stage! Just a really cool experience.  USA beat Spain 7-3, and it was great to start off with a win.

Day 2 brought a game with Germany. I love this picture of Liz and her coach. Rachel is one of her coaches here in Utah, and it was wonderful knowing she would be coaching in Budapest. She knows the game and coaches really well.

We ended with a 5-5 tie against Germany. It was a hard fought game.

Day 3 was tough, with losses to Russia and Australia (spoiler alert - Australia ended up taking gold and Russia took silver). It was hard to end pool play with these two tough losses.

But it was on this day that I got a text from Liz telling me she found a piano. She told me that while she was playing, the German boys team had come up and started talking to her, asking about her music and if she had heard some songs. What a cool experience! Piano is always a way for Liz to relax, and have it be an ice breaker to talk with some new people was great!

Day 4 was another tough day, with a loss to Brazil. They were first in the other pool (and ended up taking third in the tournament.) There were some tears, knowing now that they could not medal. We gave hugs and said quick goodbyes. That afternoon I knew Liz had cheered up when her coach texted that she had been playing piano for the South Koreans that afternoon. 

Friday would be the last day of the tournament for the USA. There would be two games. We wanted the girls to go out with a great day of play, and if they won both games they would end up fifth for the tournament. 

It was a good day of goalball for the USA girls. They seemed more relaxed, they communicated better than they have all week. They had good defense. Things came together nicely.  We were excited that they beat South Korea 11-1. They would have one game off, then play in the game for fifth place.

In between games Liz was playing piano again. I got to watch her a little bit. One of the girls from Israel approached, but never seemed to get the courage to actually talk to Liz. Our last game was against Israel. The USA girls did great to pull out the win. But the best moment was after the game. After the teams shook hands Liz and this dark haired girl stayed on the court for quite some time talking animatedly. Liz later told me that she asked, "Are you the piano girl?" and said that they talked for a while about music. It was such a cute moment. I am so glad I had my camera out.

So proud of this girl of mine!

USA girls - 5th place - 2017 World Youth Championships

A picture with some of the members of the team from South Korea. Our girls saw them at the mall.

With teams from Germany and Australia. I loved that Liz got to interact with teens from all over the world!

Home

"The sure provisions of my God

Attend me all my days;

O may Thy house be mine abode,

And all my work be praise!

There would I find a settled rest

(While others go and come),

No more a stranger or a guest,

But like a child at home."

(My Shepherd Will Supply My Need)

We sang this hymn as part of stake conference last month. I was stuck by this last verse, particularly the last couple of lines. I was so touched by the message, of wanting to feel at home in the presence of God and the Savior, like a child who feels the comfort and safety of returning home.

I have been thinking about my kids, and my role as mom, a lot. The kids are growing up so quickly. One of the things that hit me this spring is how hard it sometimes feels to get everyone to the necessary appointments/activities/meetings. It gets particularly tricky when they each have different places to be at the same time. I certainly couldn't do it without countless friends and neighbors who help so willingly. My older kids are becoming more independent and have taken big steps in getting where they need to be independently. Liz is a pro on the bus route between home and school (and even took the train to Goalball practice without me). Nathan and Mike walked home from school most days, and even Megan has a little more freedom getting around the neighborhood. When they are out and about I am grateful for cell phones because I know they can get in touch with me when needed. When they are gone I feel a subtle unease that is alleviated once everyone is on their way home. There is not much better than knowing my kiddos are home and safe. Peace comes over me as I sit and know that they have all returned after their adventurous days. 

I have been wondering if our Heavenly Father feels similar feelings about us, his children. He has sent us each into our mortal journey, knowing that we would face difficult things. He has given us lots of direction through scriptures and the words of living prophets. His Son, Jesus Christ, has shown us the way home, and has provided a way to return to the path if we stray. And no matter what we face, through prayer, we can reach out to our Heavenly Father. I am certain that He longs for each of us to return to His presence, to His home. I am sure he wants this more than we can even comprehend.

More than anything, this is what I want for me and for my family. I want us to return, and to feel at home with our Heavenly Father. Similar to our transportation situation, I have responsibility in helping my children know the right path, and doing all I can to teach and lead and love. But I also need to remember that my kids need independence. As they progress on their own individual journeys, they will (hopefully) grow in faith, strength and knowledge, coming to know their Savior as they access the power of His atoning sacrifice in their lives. 

Service is a blessing

17 years ago today I went to the temple with Brian for the first time. (The night before, during our second date, I had mentioned my plans to go do baptisms early the next morning. Being the gentleman that he is, he offered to go with me so I wouldn't be walking alone in the dark. I may or may not have mentioned it to him, knowing that he would offer to walk with me.)

Anyway, we had a nice walk to the temple, and I was able to act as proxy while Brian confirmed and baptized me. After we had completed the baptisms, the temple workers asked if Brian could continue to perform baptisms for other patrons acting as proxy. He replied with a "Yes", just as I have seen him reply countless times to opportunities to serve that have come since that day seventeen years ago. I changed back into my Sunday clothes and sat on a pew, where I watched Brian (through the glass) as he continued to serve. A temple worker came up to me and said jovially, "We will have him for you in just a bit." I smiled back and honestly said that we weren't in any hurry.

Over the last 17 years I have been blessed to watch Brian serve in many different capacities at church. This service has affected our family in different ways, depending on the specifics of his calling. But one thing has remained the same. He brings a special feeling home with him each and every time he returns from his service. No matter what he has been doing, he carries a special light home with him, and that touches every one of us.

It isn't always easy. I remember a Saturday where he spent the bulk of the day helping someone moving into the neighborhood. I was worried about if we would be able to take care of the necessities of our Saturday. I miss him some evenings, when I would really love to sit on the couch and talk with him, but he has interviews or other things that need to happen that very night. I worry about his burden; the load he carries (so willingly) here at home, his responsibilities at work and at church. The interesting thing is that these are the times when I feel extra blessings from the Lord. He has always helped us to take care of our family, and help us to continue to build our relationship together,

It reminds me a little of the scripture in Matthew 16:25. "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."

My Liz

Today a reporter/photographer came to Goalball practice. He is doing a photo story about Liz for the Daily Herald. We have been in contact throughout the week, but this was the first time we met him and he met Liz. His story will focus on her and Goalball, but also to see how she lives her daily life with a visual impairment.

After watching her warm up by throwing the ball back and forth across the gym floor with other players, he came up to me and said, "This may be a silly question, but Liz IS visually impaired, right?" I answered, "yes!" and I tried to give him an idea of what her vision is like, but his question has had me thinking all day.

First of all, I realized in a new way, how comfortable Liz is on the Goalball court. She is confident in her abilities, and is very comfortable throwing and stopping the ball. Her court awareness has come a long way too. I still can't figure out how she knows where she is so well, especially when she has her eye shades on. She has faced challenging (and scary) things through Goalball, and overcoming them has only made her stronger!

Secondly, I have been reminded, that try as I might, I do not understand what Liz sees. I can kind of imagine it, but I have to remember that I don't know! Too often I assume that if I can see it, so can she, and THIS IS NOT TRUE. Just as I have a hard time describing my vision to others, I also have a hard time understanding hers. (But I also remember that I CAN relate to challenges and frustrations she may face.)

Lastly, I cannot help but watch Liz with amazement. I hope this doesn't sound boastful or braggy, because I am truly humbled when I watch Liz and see the way that she lives life. I look at her dedication to music (something that is much more difficult because of her vision) or her love of reading books in physical print form (no matter how small that print is!) or many other things and I am in awe. She puts forth so much effort, and she doesn't let her vision get in her way! She adapts in her own ways, and isn't shy about doing what she needs to in order to see. Mostly I am grateful for her amazing perspective and for the joy that I see in her.

I am so grateful for this amazing girl in my life!