Reading . . .a lot

 One of the blessings of the pandemic is that I have made time to read a lot more than I usually do. I set a goal early in the year (before COVID hit) to read 35 books this year. That goal was hit and surpassed before even half way through the year. In April or May I changed my goal to 100. I have read old favorites (books I read every year or two), old classics that I haven't read in a long time, classics I have been wanting to read for a long time but never made time to do it. I have listened to books (by myself and with Brian) and have read lots on my tablet. Many of the books have been fun, light reading, but many have made me think, have giving me glimpses of people and perspectives. A lot, even some of the fiction I have read, point me to light and to God.

I love on my device that I can mark things that jump out at me. When I listen to books it is harder to capture these bits of wisdom that I want to remember. i try to jot them down. Here are some quotations that I wrote on a random scrap of paper. 

From Helen Keller, The Story of My Life

"We coul never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world."

This next quotation is so good, but I bolded the part I liked best.

“I want to say to those who are trying to learn to speak and those who are teaching them: Be of good cheer. Do not think of to-day’s failures, but of the success that may come to-morrow. You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if you persevere, and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles — a delight in climbing rugged paths, which you would perhaps never know if you did not sometime slip backward — if the road was always smooth and pleasant. Remember, no effort that we make to attain something beautiful is ever lost. Sometime, somewhere, somehow we shall find that which we seek. We shall speak, yes, and sing, too, as God intended we should speak and sing.”

There are other great Helen Keller quotations here. 

From Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

"All my heart is yours."

"I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine."

Christy, by Catherine Marshall

“The only time I ever find my dealings with God less than clear-cut is when I’m not being honest with Him. The fuzziness is always on my side, not His.”

I hope I have this one close to accurate.

Miss Alice talking to Christy says that her father's goal was to "see that thee has a happy childhood" and then Miss Alice continues, "I couldn't have an earthly father who would provide joy all my days and hen be able to conceive of God as a stern judge wanting to take all of my fun from me." Then she admonishes Christy. "Show folks a God who wants to give them joy.." And she promises, "I, God and you can have the victory every time."

On my scrap of paper I also had the note "Never grew weary . . . " I don't know what book motivated that note, but I know that this phrase meant a lot to me throughout 2020. I think it might have been a reference to this section of Jane Eyre. I remember being so struck by the love that grew from the service she lovingly gave her husband. 

“Mr. Rochester continued to be blind the first two years of our union; perhaps it was that circumstance that drew us so very near -- that knit us so very close; for I was then his vision, as I am still his right hand. Literally, I was (what he often called me) the apple of his eye. He saw nature -- he saw books through me; and never did I weary of gazing for his behalf, and of putting into words the effect of the field, tree, town, river, cloud, sunbeam -- of the landscape before us; of the weather around us -- and impressing by sound on his ear what light could no longer stamp on his eye. Never did I weary of reading to him; never did I weary conducting him where he wished to go; of doing for him what he wished to be done. And there was a pleasure in my services, most full, most exquisite, even though sad -- because he claimed these services without painful shame or damping humiliation. He loved me so truly, that he knew no reluctance in profiting by my attendance; he felt I loved him so fondly, that to yield that attendance was to indulge my sweetest wishes.”

You are Enough

Today is Mothers' Day. There was a video posted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I loved.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/blog/you-are-enough?lang=eng

It reminds women everywhere of their strength, beauty, bravery, resilience and especially their divine nature as children of God. It shows women dealing with challenging and joyful circumstances. It is simple and powerful. It ends by reminding women that "You are enough."

Today I also saw a post written by someone who did not like this statement. This woman countered that we can never be enough for our children, that only Christ can be enough for any of us. While I agree with a lot of what she said, I think that it is important to note that her thoughts and the intent of the video are not incongruous.

It is very true that none of us are enough without the Savior. We cannot be successful in this life without the cleansing, enabling and redeeming power of the Atonement.

But this does not mean that we cannot be "enough" in our calling as mother. Our role as mother was never one to be done alone. We are taught over and over again (President Gordon B. Hinckley's talk at the General Women's meeting in September 2000 comes to mind right away) that as mothers we are partners with our Heavenly Father. What I feel like the video was reminding us it that, despite our weaknesses, imperfections, personal struggles, and situations, we are capable of raising our children. We are enough as we do our very best to teach our children about faith in Jesus Christ, how to repent, the importance of making and keeping covenants, what we can do to qualify for the Holy Ghost, the importance of obedience, and how we can serve God with joy. The Lord truly does not ask more of us than we can give, so what we are able to give is enough.

There have been times when I have felt inadequate in certain mothering situations, times that I felt lacking because I couldn't give my kids certain experiences, times that I felt like I was holding my kids back because I couldn't drive them somewhere. I know that the Adversary works very hard to make mothers feel like they aren't doing things right. He wants us to feel discouragement and despair. But like I said, these feelings do not come from our Heavenly Father. At my hardest times the Lord has reminded me that He sent these kids to me because of my unique gifts, experiences, and talents. These reminders are just what I needed to gain strength at challenging times.. 

I know that alone we are not "enough", but we are each enough as we partner with God to raise His children that He has sent to us.