Different, But Equal

General Conference is coming around again. I am so excited! I love conference weekend and the opportunity to hear direction from the Lord's chosen servants; warning and guidance meant for me and my family, intended to help us combat the influences of the world that surround us daily. This year I am particularly excited because of the General Women's meeting that will be held the weekend before. This meeting is for all female members of the church, ages eight and above. And guess what! My youngest turns eight six days before, so I get to go with my two favorite girls, my two daughters. I am so grateful for this chance for them. I hope that they can feel the excitement of being members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at this exciting time, a time where the gospel is spreading more rapidly and into more parts of the earth. And I hope they can understand, their role, because, you know what, there are countless influences trying to confuse what that role is. From the time they first announced the change to the General women's meeting I felt instantly that it would be important. It will be a way of strengthening our women, from the time they are very young, against the onslaught that they will face.

And how do I know what will come? I know because I see glimpses and feel a taste of it almost every day. Women are often criticized for choosing to stay home with their children instead of working otuside the home. Women over time have been told they they need to be as smart and strong as and just like men if they want to accomplish anything. And the hardest part for me, is that there is a small, yet vocal, part of the membership in the church that feels women should hold the Priesthood, implying that women cannot possibly be full paticipants in the gospel unless they are ordained. We hear these things now, and they aren't just going to go away. We need to teach our women, young and old who they are, and what Heavenly Father expects of them.

All of this is hard for me, because I know in my heart, in my mind, and in my soul that I am a beloved daughter of my Heavenly Father. I know that He cherishes me and loves me. I know that He has given me guidance throughout my life. He has blessed me with a remarkable husband, and entrusted US with four of his special children to raise in our home and family here on the earth. I know that he has a mission for me to fulfill on this earth, and I know that it is only through His help that I can fulfill this mission. I know that I have not been ordained to the Priesthood, but I have felt the power of the Priesthood bless my life. Not only have I received Priesthood blessings from men I love and respect (I know that they spoke for my Heavenly Father, from whom those blessings came), but I have felt strength, guidance and protection come to me and my family even when no Priesthood blessing was given. This power is very real, and I know that is power came from God. This priesthood power is available to me because I made covenants (covenants made through the authority of the priesthood) and because I strive always to keep my covenants.

I  know that my initial, inward reaction to those who want women to hold the priesthood is sometimes defensive, and I know I feel frustration. As I thought about things today I realized that one reason I have a hard time with women fighting for the Priesthood is that I feel like in their fight they are saying, "a woman who is content with the way things are must not really understand. She cannot really have an equal marriage if she does not have the priesthood. She cannot possibly make a difference in the church without the priesthood. The men she knows can't possibly respect her enough if she doesn't hold the priesthood."

But I do understand. I understand that the Lord has given men and women different, complementing roles as we work togther to raise our family and build His kingdom. I understand that Satan's plan is to attack the family, and I understand that he focuses much of his attention on attacking the roles of wives and mothers. I understand that the world we live in is hard, and scary and that so much is asked of us as wives and mothers.

I also understand that in a marriage sameness doesn't mean equality. My husband and I are different. I feel his love and respect for me as his wife and also as a daughter of our Heavenly Father. I know that he sees my talents and strengths and that he sees (even better than me sometimes) the influence for good I can have on those around me. He honors my roles of nurturer and homemaker, but is never ashamed of pitching in on the housekeeping chores. We discuss together any big (and many of the little) decisions that affect our family. We work together to hold Family Home Evening, family scripture study and family prayer. We discuss the needs of our children and how to address those needs, whether in these formal settings or, more laid back settings. He has always completely supported my service in various church callings, even though at times I was gone in the evenings, and he was home with the little ones. I truly am, and feel like his equal, in every sense. (and I am so grateful that he worthily holds the Priesthood, because it is a blessing and a strength in our home. He sets a wonderful example to our children of what a righteous Priesthood holder is and does. This will help our boys as they follow in his footsteps and our girls as they seek for their eternal companions.)

I also know that righteous women have always and will always have a huge impact on the church. Sometimes that is a sister reaching out to the children of a struggling family, helping them know they are missed when they aren't at Primary. Sometimes that is a well-prepared sister who teaches a lesson in Primary that invites the Spirit and allows a young man to strengthen his testimony. Sometimes it is a sister serving on a ward council who shares her concerns with other leaders and together they work to resolve the concern. It could be one of the many sister missionaries who are doing much good as they take the gospel all over the world. I have seen all of these happen as I have watched women around me serve. I have also been blessed with the opportunity to serve, and to, at times, feel like the Lord used me to bless and influence those around me.

And today I have thought a lot about the men around me, both at church and in my immediate and extended family. None of them are perfect, no one is, but my heart is so full of gratitude for countless righteous and worthy priesthood holders who have blessed and influenced me and my family. To say these man are puffed up, or set themselves above women, or feel they are better than anyone else because of a calling or position is COMPLETELY FALSE. They see their call to hold the priesthood as a call to service, as a call to do what the Lord has commanded and to lead others to do the same. They feel love and respect for those around them and a responsibility to watch over and care for God's children in their stewardship.

I am a mathematician and I love numbers and equations. Today I thought of (2+2)x3 and (60-12)/4. They are very different expressions, and use different numbers and mathematical operators, and yet, they are equal. Men and women have different God-given roles, and we each have individual talents and abilities, and yet we are all equally important, equally needed and equally loved by our Heavenly Father.

I must not become complacent

I have had a couple of experiences lately that have taught me the importance of always being on my guard. The first was a very physical experience, the second was more spiritual.

Our family was at an event recently where treats were being served. A few years ago if I knew there would be food I would make sure Michael had his allergy kit on his back before we even left the house. But, he hasn't had any allergy trouble for years, and I have gotten out of the habit a bit. I did throw the epipen in my bag, though it is funny because Benadryl has really been our first course of action the three times he has needed something. I didn't bother to search for it though. The event ended and the kids got in line for treats. A few minutes later Michael came to us. He had thrown up on his clothes. He said that he had eaten a couple of cookies. My niece threw up the first time she ate peanut butter before they knew she was allergic, so I thought that might be what was going on. Brian headed home with him to get him cleaned up. By the time they got home Michael's lip had swollen quite a bit. Brian gave him some Benadryl. We got home a bit later and Michael was feeling miserable, but wasn't having any toruble breathing. I thought we were in the clear. Just as we were getting the kids into bed Michael threw up again. He was also sneezing, coughing and his nose started to bleed. He still was breathing just fine, but we thought a trip to Instacare would be a good idea. He was so groggy on the way there. I was so worried that something was really wrong. I tried to keep him talking (if I had remembered that Benadryl makes him really drowsy, I probably wouldn't have been quite as anxious.) He mumbled off a list of as many states as he could remember. That made me feel a bit better. Before we actually checked him into the instacare we talked with a nurse to see if there was anything they could do or if we would really need to go to the ER. She checked his oxygen saturation and asked about symptoms. We told her all that had happened. She asked if he had hives. We said no. She went to talk with the doctor. By the time she got back to the room Michael had hives all over his arms, legs and back. She turned right back around to pass this info along ot the doctor. We talked with him for a minute and he said that we should check Michael in, but that he still couldn't promise that we wouldn't need to go to the ER. After another little wait we met with the doctor again. He checked breathing and listened to Mike's lungs and heart and stomach. He let us know what we could do to help the hives. Poor Mike was so tired! The doctor asked him to cough at one point and Mike mumbled, "I don't feel like it." He just wanted to sleep. The doctor sent us home, telling us to check on Mike every two hours throughout the night. Michael was asleep before we left the parking lot. I was so grateful that a friend came and helped give Michael a priesthood blessing. What a comfort that was! The night was still hard. There was more throw up, and it was just hard to sleep, knowing we had to check on him. Oh, how grateful I was to see him pop off his pillow this morning saying, "Mom, I feel so much better!"

The second experience happened tonight. The kids had received a new movie. They watched it while Brian and I went to the temple. After we got home and they were in bed we thought we would watch it. (we both remember seeing some of it when we were young, but didn't remember much.) We watched for a few minutes and then some things happened and some things were said that we were uncomfortable with. We certianly hadn't expected those things, but we turned it off right away. But on my mind was the fact that the kids had seen the entire thing. We will talk with them tomorrow and in the future will do all we can to be more educated about the movies we bring into our home. It is so important that we are ultra careful about what we watch and see and listen to. Those are things that are hard to forget.

I have felt some "mom guilt" because of these two isntances. In both cases I feel like I should have done more to protect my kids. I wish I could turn back time and do it all over, and do it better, do it right.

And as I type this I realize that I need to get over the guilt. I need to know that I can't redo what has already been done, but I can do better. I am grateful that each day we can do better than the day before. And I am grateful that these reminders came to me now, in ways that are relatively minor.

Armor of God Dodge Ball

The Beehive class (Young Women, 12 and 13 years old) in our ward were in charge of the weekly evening mutual activity Wednesday night. It was for all young women AND young men ages 12-18. I always get a little nervous when I am responsible for this combined activity. Coming up with an idea is always the hardest for me. Well in March I woke up one Sunday morning after having a dream. In the dream I had been at a youth activity, and as I got out of bed I thought, "That could work!" It evolved over the last couple of months, but I consider last night a success. 

Here's how we did it.

I created a matching game. I used these images from lds.org to create the special matches. I found other similar images (free coloring pages online) of other activities like hiking, fishing, dancing, TV, computer, homework, mp3 player etc. and created similar cards for them. In total there were fifteen matches. 

We assigned each youth a number from 1-6 and each group was given a set of the matching game. (Our groups had four to six youth in them, and that seemed to work out well.) They mixed things up, spread them out and played the game just like any other matching game (though we did cut out the rule of getting another turn if you got a match. Play just moved from one person to the next.)

When all of the groups were finished we gathered everyone together to hand out armor. They called the people forward that had earned one of the special matches above, gave them the "armor" and explained what benefit it would have in the upcoming dodge ball game. One person in each group earned each piece of armor. Youth could earn more than one piece of armor (if they got more than one of the six important matches), and many youth didn't earn any pieces of the armor. 

Helmet of Salvation (bandana, tied around head) - If the dodge ball hit them in the head they would not be eliminated from the game.

Breastplate of Righteousness (t shirt) - You can get hit in the torso without being eliminated from the game.

Sword of the Spirit (Plastic bat) - Gives you two hits before you are out. Turn in bat after 1^st hit, then leave game after 2^nd.

Shield of Truth (Cookie sheets) - If the ball hits the cookie sheet, you are not out

Loins girt with truth  (long strip of cloth tied like a sash around waist) - Protects from your waist to your knees

Feet shod with preparation of the gospel of peace (bandana tied around ankle) - Protects BOTH legs from the knees down (shins, ankles and feet)

This items were simple to gather and were essentially free. And they worked well during the actual dodge ball games. We put three groups onto each side of the gym and they formed the two teams for dodge ball.

The adults were referees as the youth played dodge ball. It was played like a normal game, though we didn't use the rule about catching a ball that was thrown is a way to eliminate someone on the other side. It was fun to see how the youth benefited from the "armor" they had earned. It was also nice that not everyone had armor. It provided good contrast and helped in teaching the lesson we were hoping to teach.

After the dodge ball game had gone on for a while, most people were out. We stopped the game and gathered around for a moment to talk about what we had done/learned. Here are the questions we used and some scriptures and quotations that we found applied.

Ephesians 6:13-17

 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

 14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

 15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

 16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

How did the armor affect our dodge ball game?

What would our game have been like if everyone had all of the armor?

How can the Armor of God help us each day?

Helaman5:12

And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

What can we do to put on the whole armor of God?

Elder Robert D. Hales

Staying on the gospel path of covenants, commandments, and ordinances protects us and prepares us to do God’s work in this world. When we obey the Word of Wisdom, our agency is protected from addictions to substances like alcohol, drugs, and tobacco. As we pay our tithing, study the scriptures, receive baptism and confirmation, live for the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost, partake of the sacrament worthily, obey the law of chastity, prepare for and receive the Melchizedek Priesthood, and make sacred covenants in the temple, then we are prepared to serve.

Sister Linda S. Reeves

Brothers and sisters, because I know from my own experiences, and those of my husband, I must testify of the blessings of daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening. These are the very practices that help take away stress, give direction to our lives, and add protection to our homes. Then, if pornography or other challenges do strike our families, we can petition the Lord for help and expect great guidance from the Spirit, knowing that we have done what our Father has asked us to do.

I think the youth had a great time. It was sure fun to watch them play, and to have there be some important meaning behind the activity too. I was struck (again) by how the best ways to protect ourselves and our families from the evil influences of the world are not new things, but rather the small and simple things we are taught to do from the time we are very young. Sometimes we might disregrad pryaer or scritpure study because it may not seem to make much difference at the moment, but by daily participating in these habits of personal righteousness we are strengthening our armor little by little. 

Thank you, Mom!

Tomorrow is Mothers' Day. I have been thinking about how grateful I am to be a mom and having the opportunity to raise some of Heavenly Father's precious children here in my home. I have felt blessed as I watch them grow and progress, make good decisions, and choose to do thigns that are right and good. I feel very lucky.

I have thought about my sisters, sisters-in-law and friends who are mothering at the same time I am. We are all different. We have different strengths, different weaknesses, different ideas, different needs, different habits and different schedules, but we all have the same goal. And we all feel indescribably love for our children.

I have thought about one sister in particular. She has blessed the lives of children (mine included) for many years, but this year is special, because she has welcomed a special child into her home, into her heart. Their start wasn't easy, but I can see much good that has come from the bumpy beginning. She is an amazing mother!

I think of my mother-in-law, my grandmas, aunts and friends. Many women have touched my life and the lives of the children.

And I think of my mother. Having children was never an easy process for my mom. I am truly amazed at all she sacrificed to bring me and my siblings into the world. Even more importantly though, is all that she did to help me become who I am. She created a home where I wanted to be, a place where we could learn, grow, explore our talents and overcome mistakes.

I remember one night long ago. I was probably ten years old. My bedroom was downstairs from most of the house. I couldn't sleep and I snuck up the first flight of stairs. I could sit out of sight and listen to what my mom and dad were doing. (Now that I am a mom I realize their post-bedtime attempts to get laundry and other such things finished before they headed to bed themselves.) But then, my mom spotted me. I expected to be in trouble. After all, I should have been asleep for quite a while. I remember getting teary eyed, and saying I was hungry. My mom took me into the kitchen and sat me in her spot at the table. I curled my legs under me as I sat. And mom made me toast, with apple cider jelly. Maybe my mom felt some exasperation at my "night owl" tendancies, but it certainly didn't show. I went back to bed with a full belly and warm heart.

I don't know why this particular time has been on my mind yesterday. Maybe it is a reminder of how I should be when my own little night owl stumbles down the hall. And it is certainly a lesson of how the little things a mom does can make a huge impression.

When I feel sentimental I like to play with pictures. I love to look at old pictures. This year I have made some colalges that I am proud of. I also like to make videos. Here is one I made this weekend. It includes many of my favorite pictures. It is a way of watching my kids grow up.

Saturday was a special day

Megan's baptism day on Satuday was so special. She has been looking forward to this for a very long tome and her excitement bubbled out of her every time we talked about baptism, or baptism in general. Even reading the word "baptism" made her shiver with joy and excitement. And Saturday was the big day! It was a special day for me as a mom too, because Megan invited all of her siblings to participate in her baptism service by praying, speaking and singing a special musical number. It was a perfect "last" baptism for our family.

Does she look excited or what!

Events like this often make me feel a little sentimental, and this was no different. I went back and looked at pictures from our other baptism days. Here are pictures from each baptism. These pictures of the four siblings were all taken in the same spot of the church building. I love seeing how the kids have grown.

April 11, 2009

 July 10, 2010

 June 2, 2012

 May 3, 2014

It was so wonderful to see MEgan so excited to take this first step along the path back to her Heavenly Father, and it is wonderful to see all of the good these kids are doing as they continue to learn and progress. WE have some very exciting years ahead of us.