Friday, May 23, 2014

I must not become complacent

I have had a couple of experiences lately that have taught me the importance of always being on my guard. The first was a very physical experience, the second was more spiritual.

Our family was at an event recently where treats were being served. A few years ago if I knew there would be food I would make sure Michael had his allergy kit on his back before we even left the house. But, he hasn't had any allergy trouble for years, and I have gotten out of the habit a bit. I did throw the epipen in my bag, though it is funny because Benadryl has really been our first course of action the three times he has needed something. I didn't bother to search for it though. The event ended and the kids got in line for treats. A few minutes later Michael came to us. He had thrown up on his clothes. He said that he had eaten a couple of cookies. My niece threw up the first time she ate peanut butter before they knew she was allergic, so I thought that might be what was going on. Brian headed home with him to get him cleaned up. By the time they got home Michael's lip had swollen quite a bit. Brian gave him some Benadryl. We got home a bit later and Michael was feeling miserable, but wasn't having any toruble breathing. I thought we were in the clear. Just as we were getting the kids into bed Michael threw up again. He was also sneezing, coughing and his nose started to bleed. He still was breathing just fine, but we thought a trip to Instacare would be a good idea. He was so groggy on the way there. I was so worried that something was really wrong. I tried to keep him talking (if I had remembered that Benadryl makes him really drowsy, I probably wouldn't have been quite as anxious.) He mumbled off a list of as many states as he could remember. That made me feel a bit better. Before we actually checked him into the instacare we talked with a nurse to see if there was anything they could do or if we would really need to go to the ER. She checked his oxygen saturation and asked about symptoms. We told her all that had happened. She asked if he had hives. We said no. She went to talk with the doctor. By the time she got back to the room Michael had hives all over his arms, legs and back. She turned right back around to pass this info along ot the doctor. We talked with him for a minute and he said that we should check Michael in, but that he still couldn't promise that we wouldn't need to go to the ER. After another little wait we met with the doctor again. He checked breathing and listened to Mike's lungs and heart and stomach. He let us know what we could do to help the hives. Poor Mike was so tired! The doctor asked him to cough at one point and Mike mumbled, "I don't feel like it." He just wanted to sleep. The doctor sent us home, telling us to check on Mike every two hours throughout the night. Michael was asleep before we left the parking lot. I was so grateful that a friend came and helped give Michael a priesthood blessing. What a comfort that was! The night was still hard. There was more throw up, and it was just hard to sleep, knowing we had to check on him. Oh, how grateful I was to see him pop off his pillow this morning saying, "Mom, I feel so much better!"

The second experience happened tonight. The kids had received a new movie. They watched it while Brian and I went to the temple. After we got home and they were in bed we thought we would watch it. (we both remember seeing some of it when we were young, but didn't remember much.) We watched for a few minutes and then some things happened and some things were said that we were uncomfortable with. We certianly hadn't expected those things, but we turned it off right away. But on my mind was the fact that the kids had seen the entire thing. We will talk with them tomorrow and in the future will do all we can to be more educated about the movies we bring into our home. It is so important that we are ultra careful about what we watch and see and listen to. Those are things that are hard to forget.

I have felt some "mom guilt" because of these two isntances. In both cases I feel like I should have done more to protect my kids. I wish I could turn back time and do it all over, and do it better, do it right.

And as I type this I realize that I need to get over the guilt. I need to know that I can't redo what has already been done, but I can do better. I am grateful that each day we can do better than the day before. And I am grateful that these reminders came to me now, in ways that are relatively minor.

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